I hope y’all are still with me…it has been a tumultuous couple months for this kid. To bring you super quickly up to speed, I packed up the whole house pretty much a capella (w/ a couple wonderfully helpful visits from my dear sis), we closed on the house, I moved w/ the help of 4 professional movers (it still took from 8am-9pm!), travelled for three weeks w/ the BBSH (brownboy superheroes if you’re just tuning in) over the Holidays, came back…and it’s been downhill since. Downhill? Yes, downhill. I won’t get too far into it because somewhere I need to draw a line between the parts of my personal life that are private & this life I share with you. This is less about me & more about my family. The short of it–the NEW house was broken into–NOT while we were gone on vacay but 40 minutes AFTER we arrived home. So yes, I was home w/ the boys. But we are all SAFE. Oh–and then the lovely man who broke in, decided to come back after the police left to steal my car! So I have been dealing with a house full of boxes, auto insurance adjusters, homeowners insurance adjusters, and now the remodel we had already planned way before any of this happened. So I hope y’all forgive me for my absence. I have thought about writing a blog post every single day of January but I just wasn’t in the right head space. As I type, I’m forcing myself to continue the post but I’m ready to move on. So that is why I say my new year is starting today, February 1. I want to forget January altogether. I want to forget the 31 days of no gym, running or yoga, barely any greens or veggies, not enough water, not enough sleep, too much alcohol, too much stress, and I want to focus on making February a better, greener month.
Whose brilliant idea was it anyways to brainwash the world into thinking January 1 was the day we become new? I think it’s kinda silly to think that a culture that does everything in excess December 31, is going to wake up on January 1 ready to join a gym, run a marathon, quit smoking, quit fast food, make a career change, etc. with no transition, no safety net. It’s just sink or swim. And so many people sink in January that by February they’re like eff it! Well I propose we stop putting so much pressure on ourselves to adhere to resolutions. We make these promises to exercise more/lose weight/eat better. We might say, this is the year I’m going to take that trip, write that book, redecorate the living room, run that marathon, break-up w/ that _____! or all of the above. We put so much pressure on ourselves at the beginning of each new year as if this is the only time we can make changes. I’m not saying we shouldn’t have goals but I’m not digging the word “resolution.” I’m a writer; words carry heavy weight with me. A resolution is a firm decision to do or not to do something. Resolutions are about all or nothing; goals are about intentions. Resolutions are restrictive & absolute, whereas intentions are about our hearts & minds. They are ongoing & adaptable. For me personally, a resolution is static, whereas a goal exhibits & reflects growth. And I want to grow this year & I want my goals to be open & fluid enough to grow w/me. Are you down?
Taking some time to think over what things might have prevented me from achieving my goals last year, I realized my graduate studies had hijacked my life, making it really difficult to focus on any of the other goals consistently. My dissertation writing has monopolized the last two years of my life and the year before that was spent writing my dissertation proposal. The year before that was spent taking my three comprehensive exams. That sums up the last four years of my life…add in Hubs’ three deployments (21 of the last 36 months) in three years and two young boys and I forgive myself quite a bit for not achieving the other goals.
So new mindset: I’m not looking at it as a New Year’s resolution but rather turning over a new leaf…starting a new chapter that is goal-oriented & focused on balance, love, self-growth & holistic living. This is truly a new kind of year for me. Not only is 2013 a new year, it’s a different kind of year for several reasons. First off, you all know I’m getting ready to launch the new blog next week & I’m really excited about watching how it will grow. Secondly, I’m super excited about this new chapter in my life post-Doctorate–a new home for my family and my blog, more time to focus on real life. Not that getting a doctorate wasn’t an important real life event but unfortunately while I was working on it–specifically the last two years when I was writing, it consumed my life. I had no balance & now I have the opportunity to regain that. More time to write when I want to write or about whatever I want to write about (a children’s book is in the works!), more time to relax and spend time w/my kids, more time for hobbies like cooking & crafting. I also want to make some great travel memories & learn how to garden. Yes, I realize I won’t be able to just craft & bonfire with the boys while I play the guitar & they sing “Kumbaya”; however I will have a lot more time to do things other than read theoretical articles & dissect conceptual frameworks on identity. What are your goals for this year? I would love to hear & be a part of your move towards a greener, more holistic lifestyle.
So, lovelies…this is my last blog post here at Kimchee + Collards but please do drop by beautifully-blended.com & show me some love by signing up. I promise you won’t be disappointed!
xoxoxo…love & light,